Going from heartbreak to a sense of indifference then finding your happiness is generally what happens after a major disappointment. Particularly as it relates to relationships. Also known as the breakup. Each phase has its place in our healing process.
As a Christian woman, the desires of the heart to be married only seem to get stronger as I get older. When I see my friends moving along the committed relationship roads, while I am left parked in Singlesville. I tend to think, “What about me?”
Last year I went through my toughest break up ever. For about four (4) years, I dated my ex on and off. Ultimately, we decided we would no longer “try” to make our relationship work. As a result, I went through three (3) phases before I felt content that it was over.
THE HEARTBREAK PHASE
This phase begins as soon as your world feels like it’s ending. When you have that conversation with your significant other and you both realise that the relationship has run its course. Or if you’re like me, you want to end it before you think less of the guy and choose never to speak to him again. Dramatic, I know. Did I mention I’m a Gemini?
During the heartbreak phase, everything hurts! Your heart. Your body. Your mind. You find yourself replaying the relationship over and over.
- What could he have done better?
- Should I have told him that one thing from my past?
- Was it over because he started hanging out with a bunch of girls all the time?
- Was he jealous that I had a lot of guy friends?
In my experience depending on how long you dated a man and how deep your love for him was, this phase can be short-lived or long and drawn out.
THE INDIFFERENT PHASE
This is the least emotional of all three (3) phases. By definition, to be indifferent is to have no particular interest or sympathy; unconcerned. I have felt this way “while in a relationship” but it is far more dangerous for me when it happens outside of a relationship. After the heartbreak phase.
During the indifferent phase, one becomes a savage! She tears men down. She tears women down. If she is not careful, she will tear herself down as a result.
THE HAPPINESS PHASE
This is the calm after the storm. Once you are heartbroken it is difficult to see the silver lining to your situation. Once you have gotten through the dark clouds of your heartbreak phase and healed the savage of your indifferent phase. Joy awaits you!
During the happiness phase, you are content! You become a mature, emotionally healthy woman. Life is the best it has ever been for you. You have learned from your mistake. You have identified what you will not accept in the future. You have refocused your mind, body, and spirit onto something bigger than yourself.
If you’re interested in learning four (4) ways to rediscover yourself after a major disappointment, such as a breakup. Read my guest blog post on The Millennial Wives Club today!