Ok. Every once in a while the cheerful Terri that my friends have grown to love, gets sad or in a bad mood =( – but I am human and I think it goes without saying that I am far from perfection. For me to have a perfectly, happy mood always would be weird, honestly speaking. In light of my recent sad states, I was ultimately inspired to write this blog post.
It is rather easy to stay in a state of sadness because I found that your ‘care level’ is extremely low, so there is nothing truly motivating you to change your mood. That is when the bad mood becomes dangerous, in my opinion. It is not healthy to be depressed or border-line depressed – hence the reason for the wonderful pills that those in the medical field love to prescribe to their patients. Beside who truly likes to be sad ALL THE TIME?
I personally hated when I was in my little rut, it’s not a fun experience when you are usually a very happy-go-lucky, optimistic, carefree individual and somehow something gets into your brain and you can’t seem to shake the feeling. It’s one of those things that no matter how much people show you they care, because they see your mood has changed, it only seems to aggravate you more. Not that you do not appreciate the gesture, unless you’re just that mean of a person, but same way it can sometimes be a bother to the person for the mere fact that they cannot seem to shake the sad feeling. Everyone likes to believe that people have control over their feelings, which I agree with, but there comes a point that once you are feeling a certain way – it is more difficult to change your mood at another request if you have no clue why you’re feeling that way.
Now, effective communication is the key element to a great relationship – no matter how it is defined. I have found that in times of sadness or just a bad mood, communication can be as detrimental as it is helpful. Take for a example, a person who prefers to deal with their issues alone and you are a person who loves to express your feelings, to square everything off before moving forward – that conversation will not go well when you try to find out what is wrong with that sad person. Assuming that you have no clue that the other person is an introvert and does not like to talk through their problems, you will create all types of issues just by pressing the issue of a “we need to talk through this so we can move forward“-speech. In the same breath, if you are the person who prefers to deal with thing in your own time and space, you may find yourself (or have found yourself) coming back to the same issues when you are feeling down because you never dealt with it the first few times it came to your attention.
Everyone deals with their life differently – what may upset one person that doesn’t upset another will be handle completely differently. It may be that the roles switch later in life, so that the person who was not upset previously may not find those things that did not upset them before now do. I’m not a believer so much in astrology or the idea of the Universe and it’s mystic controlling life – but I do believe that the energy you put out towards others will be reciprocated to you by Jah’s works. The friends you keep should show you a pretty good example of the type of person you are, internally. If you have a slew of friends who are negative towards just about everything under the Sun and above the Clouds – I would STRONGLY suggest you reevaluate those relationships. Your circle of trust is the first line of defense you have for those times when you are feelings sincerely down.
Those are the very people who know things about you that should help you when you are feeling sad or upset. They should understand you little quirks and when to leave you alone or to press the issue further. They shouldn’t get upset with you when you request time alone to think and deal with a part of the issue for which you wish to do so on your own. If at anytime you are feeling upset and your circle gets upset with you, TIME TO REEVALUATE those people’s role in your life. Life happens and when it does – you’re circle of trust should be there to aid you in anyway that they can, not create a new problem or add fuel to the fire of the existing one.
If all else fails, enlist the assistance of music, personally this is my weapon of choice during those times when I am sincerely upset and talking seems to create a greater problem than I am prepared to handle at the moment. I have found that when I go on a search for music to bring my spirits up, my mind tends to clear and I can see the bigger picture again.
Also, sometimes I write out what is bothering me in a notebook, as well. I try to be as HONEST as possible when I write, most people claim to be honest during conversation but you might find yourself without holding your true feeling when talking it out with people because you are afraid of their reactions, if they’ll judge you, etc. I feel that writing can help you get everything out then organize your feelings in your own order of priorities. Somethings that are bothering you may be as simple as just writing them out to see how silly it is for you to make an issue over while other things you may not have realized were bothering you as much! Whatever your method of choice, please I ask that you do not get ‘lazy in your sadness’ and stick in it for too long. The longer your stay in Sadness Ville, the less enjoyable of a person you are to be around =D
Until next time… Namaste