Merry Thanksgiving

Merry Thanksgiving

It’s holiday season here in the United States of America as well as throughout the entire continent that is North America, i.e. Latin America and the Caribbean. I am sure there are other countries the world over that are getting into the holiday spirit if they celebrate this specific holiday. Alternatives such as Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and other holidays celebrated in other religions; people who partake in those celebrations can too be seen getting into the ‘spirit’. I myself do not really ‘get into the spirit’ of these holiday seasons as I’ve seen many other citizens, resident and visitors have recently in the USA.

Continue Reading

Imagine Me Like This

Imagine Me Like This

Last week Friday I had the privilege of seeing mi dupz, Dré, perform live here in Atlanta, Georgia at Red Ultra Lounge. It was quite a fun event, to say the least. I have of late become a reggae concert-goer starting with seeing my boyfriends Christopher Martin & Khago perform then seeing the veteran and living legend, Capleton. It was only right that I go to support Dré locally here in Atlanta because it is only a matter of time before he is touring worldwide and this city will be a stop of many. It was a great experience to see Dré perform in such an intimate setting as he was eye-level with the crowd for much of his performance and yes you could find me right in the front of the crowd; rocking to the Dreggae musical vybz. To much of the audience’s surprise Dré had a guitarist provide the background for a few of his singles. I wished I could have known the lyrics to ALL of Dré’s music, but as you know I am a newer #teamDRÉ fan – so I am playing catch up when it comes to memorizing lyrics. The crowd response was very positive after Dré finished his performance and the night was kicked into overdrive as Shane Talon and Black Chiney provided the soundtrack for the rest of the evening.

Continue Reading

The Leaders of Tomorrow

The Leaders of Tomorrow

It seems that political season never really goes anywhere throughout the years but citizens tends to pay closer attention during election years. For the most part, citizens only care about the policies that affect their ability to continue to live their lives as they did in the previous year. Fundamentally there are many issues with that because the ‘noise makers‘ only see to be the ones who either work in a specific profession, the families of such people or a union who is responsible for the fair treatment of its members. Yet, many people in society disregard the voices of such people because it doesn’t affect them currently – so they choose not to give it any energy, that would just be positive energy negatively wasted. But a different scene does occur when the issue spills over into the front yards of many within the society.

Continue Reading

An Alumna Homecoming

An Alumna Homecoming

So I rant and rave about Spelman College and my Caribbean friends that I have made in the AUC. My college experience was a memorable one and I honestly can’t say that it has really ended in the sense that the same people I have met through being a Spelmanite and now a Spelman Woman have not really gone anywhere, seeing as they are all pretty much still based in Atlanta. LOL. Nonetheless homecoming for me is an excuse to enjoy the music that I love on a whole other level and ALL day.

Continue Reading

Just Different People, We Are

Just Different People, We Are

We live in a world that is more connected than ever before. Not only via the internet and global awareness but citizens of different nations are becoming residents of other nations in an effort to achieve their dreams and goals. We as a race, humans, are an extremely interesting one. The cultures that make up the different regions of the world add to that factor. Our difference is what truly makes us an amazing race. But sometimes it is our ignorance of our differences that hinders our ability to unite as one race and live in harmony.

Continue Reading

Making It So Hard

Making It So Hard

Trust. Depending on who you are or whom you are dealing with it may be hard to give out or hard to earn. I like to think people are guarded with reason, that people are just cold-hearted just to be so. But then there may be people out there who genuinely get joy and pleasure from making people do the absolute most with no intentions of giving them what it is they are working so hard to achieve, their trust. This post is not to talk down on those who engage in those time of trust games, I wanted to share my take on moving on from relationships whether good or bad.

Continue Reading

Politics of Life

Politics of Life

I’m pretty sure we have all taken the time out to ask ourselves those burning, deep, thought provoking questions about life – in general. Some questions may include What is the meaning of life, Why do people act so negatively towards some people but not towards others, What is the right thing to do in this situation? just to name a few but I’m sure you have thought of others and probably thinking of your own as your read this post. Take note of the questions you pose on yourself today!

Continue Reading

The Spouse Syndrome

‘Tis the season to be in a relationship! LOL. Okay may be this isn’t officially the season to be in a relationship as they can happen at any point within the year – but it just so happens that many people tend to start more new relationships around this time of the year. The colder seasons tend to have that affect on people, in my opinion. With that said though, this post is not so much dedicated to the joys of relationships per se as it is to the struggles some relationships have.

For the most part relationships go through the honeymoon phase while dating, everything seems great – it’s amazing. “He does this for me and it’s so sweet.” “She does that for me and I can’t get enough.” For a relationship to have an extended honeymoon phase some intense effort needs to be executed. But what works for two doesn’t work for us all, I sincerely think some relationships get to the rocky phases earlier than others because one spouse (or both) started expecting things based on past relationships they have been in or by looking at another relationship such as that of a friend or coworker.

Now I believe it is apart of our human nature to have expectations for the people we encounter in life. Some expectations are higher than others depending on the person, the type of relationship, how long the relationship has been and whatever else you as an individual hold important to you. However, I think one of the best things you can do in your relationship is loosen or get rid of some of the expectations you place on your significant other. THIS IS NOT BY ANY MEANS LOWERING YOUR STANDARDS. I want to be very clear to explain the difference in the two, for me. Personally, I define standards as being manifestations of your ethics, morals and beliefs. What is right to me, may seem wrong to another – this is usually because how I define ‘right’ in a certain situation is different from how another person rationalizes it in the same situation. Alternatively, expectations are created based on how one defines the roles people have in his/her lives. For example, one expects their mother to love them unconditionally – good or bad – because she is one of the people who help created you, she carried you for 9 months (more or less) and why wouldn’t she right? But then that same person can have a certain standard of what a mother should be, which may or may not be different from their own mum. It could be based on how their mother treated them, positive or negative, whether they like the way they were treated by their mum, her interactions with one’s father or other men, etc.

Once you have made that distinction between an expectation and a standard, I do believe you can then truly understand why your relationship is so blissful or why it has seem to come upon hard times. But if you go through that process and you find it’s not your expectations of your spouse nor is it the standards you have because your significant other has met both beyond what you had set for them… It may be a deeper issue rooted in who that person truly is.

I personally believe the best relationships, the long-lasting relationships, are the ones in which each spouse compliments the other without an extreme amount of effort. I believe in their being someone on this earth truly created for you as an individual. Your likes, your dislikes. What makes you tick on the inside, that person has learned and knows when to act or react to you and vice versa. The way you think, that person is keen on and can anticipate your reactions in certain situations and knows just what to say. When you think no one else notices your mood change, that special someone does. The list could go on forever.

But I said all that to say that if you ever get to those rock in a hard place kind of feelings in your relationships you should probably reevaluate your relationship. The worst thing you can do, in my opinion, is to compare your spouse to someone else and make them feel as if they are not living up to the standard of the other person because at the end of the day it becomes ‘well maybe you should be with so-and-so and not me.’ I’m NO relationship guru, I don’t think I have all the answers in life cause I’m only twenty-three BUT I try to be as open as I can in my relationships, intimate and the nots, and it’s from those relationships that I pull inspiration from for this post. So I hope you have found this post to be an interesting read and to include some opinions you may not have heard before or an opinion similar to your own.

Until next time… Namaste

Continue Reading

The Family Matters

Every once in a while life throws us a curve ball, whether we hit the ball out of the park or simply get a strike is dependent upon ourselves. Life without struggle is not living at all. Sure, we’d all love to live a perfect life but one’s idea of perfection is truly a manifestation of what they consider their truth to be. So what is true for one may not be true for all. With that I have decided to speak about a truth that many of us may have come to realize at some point in our lives, and if you have not come upon the enlightenment as yet still feel free to read this post anyways – you may find some things that may alert you on that if it ever happens to you and potential ways to handle it…

I think family relationships are by far some of the most important ones for any young child to learn. They show us how to interact with others, what is acceptable behaviour for family interactions versus interactions with friends and others. Many children, without even trying, make a checklist in their head of the things they want in a significant other – for young men it’s a woman who can cook, clean, and is as loving as his mother; for young women it’s a man who can protect, provide and is as caring as her father. Parental relationships are some of the strongest for children to gain an example in their head of what a standard is or should be.

Now I won’t say that if a parent is missing from a child’s life that healthy and positive standards cannot be formed, because that is most certainly not true. That is the time when the extended family members come into the equation and add more variables to the test. Uncles. Aunts. Cousins. In-Laws. Also, family friends can also be great examples for young children to learn from.

Family love is generally unconditional love, in my opinion. I believe that when members of your family truly have your best interest at heart they will accept you, flaws and all. It’s a love that generally we as individuals do not do much to receive, expect be ourselves.

So, it goes to say that when family members break our heart by disrespecting us or making us feel as if we are not worthy of their love – it’s a different kind of hurt. I don’t know if you can empathize with this but it’s as if you second guess your role in the situation – Where you wrong for what you said or did? – Should you have done something different or nothing at all? Those are usually moments of self-discovery. When I say self-discovery, I mean that it gives you a chance to truly reflect on your reactions or actions in the situation – Were you truly out of line for your role in the situation? If your answer is yes, that simply means that you need to recognize it, let whomever you hurt know that you apologize (if you’re truly sorry, if not then don’t) and ultimately learn from the situation to ensure that you do no hurt your family like that in the future.

But what if you’re NOT wrong? What if the OTHER family member was actually wrong and your heart is the one that is hurting and heavy? If it’s the first time that family member has wronged you, a simple conversation with them to let them know how their actions or words made you feel should be enough. If they truly value you as a relative, as a friend and ultimately as a human being they will listen to your concern, your hurt and apologize for their role and hopefully make changes to their behaviour in the future. Now, if this IS NOT their first offense against you or against other family members and they have not learned from their actions – simply cut them off!

Yes, that sounds pretty harsh but it’s true. Whenever a friend does something wrong, after going through the motions with them to help them change towards a positive attitude, actions and conversation – if they STILL do not wish to change, why should you stick around and constantly be hurt? That’s true stupidity. Love is not blind nor is ignorance bliss. You do not have to accept someone’s second hand love because they do not want to give you first class love, not from your friends, your family or anyone else for that matter. We all deserve the exact same kind of love that we give out. So if you are giving your all to everyone and they are not giving it back – you really have two choices: to continue or to stop.

I am not here to judge anyone or to tell anyone what to do but I will offer my opinion on a situation especially if it has occurred in my life. Hopefully from this post you have a more clear overstanding of what kind of love you deserve from others, no matter their role in your life. If you think everything in your life is super amazingly great, despite the heart breaks that constantly follow you in life then by all means continue on your current path. I do not nor will I ever claim to have all the answers, I really do not have them all. I’m just willing to offer my current opinion on certain topics with hopes of enlightening myself and others to think of life as a chess game, and not one of checkers meant simply for entertainment.

Until next time… Namaste

Continue Reading